I’ve always believed that communication is the most important life skill – in and out of work. Malcolm Gladwell agrees. In Outliers, he suggests that the way we:
“Get what we want from the world” is by
“Knowing what to say to whom, knowing when to say it and knowing how to say it for maximum effect.”
Some people get this, others not so much….
- Plenty has been written recently about the differences between Sir Keir Starmer and Andy Burnham. It’s generally agreed that one of the key factors in Starmer’s demise and Burnham’s ascendency is communication – Andy’s skill in speaking with clarity and emotional resonance, and in a relaxed and conversational tone. Sadly, for Sir Keir, these were skills he never acquired.
- In an excellent Disney + documentary (Endurance) about Ernest Shackleton’s legendary 1914 Antarctic voyage, there’s a pivotal moment when the ship is crushed by the ice and disaster looms (death from cold or starvation) for the 28-man crew. Shackleton gave a rousing speech to boost morale and ‘sell’ his plan for survival (still today considered one of the most audacious and improbable feats of courage, discipline and resilience). If you don’t know the end of the story, it’s worth a look. No spoiler here.
- Last Friday, after a tough day’s work in Birmingham (relative to Shackleton’s tribulations, obvs), I arrived at the station in time for an earlier train than the one I’d booked. That wasn’t technically allowed but after a genuinely warm, human-to-human conversation about how desperate I was to get home as soon as possible, the lovely booking clerk kindly changed my ticket, for only a tiny charge and no admin fee.
- Conversely, a stand-in Pilates teacher recently demonstrated how not to ‘get what you want from the world’ by….
- Arriving late and not apologising
- Neither introducing himself/greeting us at the beginning nor saying goodbye at the end
- Being cold and brusque in tone
- Not doing the exercises with us but merely telling us what to do
- Not actually delivering a Pilates class but rather a random exercise session (with too many crunchies).
- Result – unhappy participants; multiple complaints.
- Many years ago, I was recruiting an assistant and had reached round two of the process. At the end of the second conversation with one possible candidate, Katie, she said, “I hope you don’t want to interview me again. I haven’t got another smart outfit.” Her authentic and appropriate use of humour got her the job.
- In my daughter’s search for work experience last summer, having exhausted formal, advertised opportunities, Lucy identified a small company whose product, brand story and tone of voice she admired. She wrote to the owner – a tailored, personal, direct approach, offering her services. After a couple of gentle, respectful chases, the owner replied and hey presto………………
We all want different things from the world, but one thing remains the same – communication is key. And what I know for sure is that communication is like a sport. It’s a set of skills which can be learnt. Moreover, it’s never too late to start.
So, as Taylor Swift said, “Never be ashamed of trying. Effortlessness is a myth.”
