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communication

PURPLE SNOW DROP
How to speak confidently when you don’t know what you’re talking about…
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By way of preparation for every training session, I ask attendees to share with me their strengths and weaknesses, as communicators. The issue which comes up time and time again is this – “I’m ok when I know the material well but I really lack confidence when I’m not so sure about the content”. This lack of confidence manifests itself in a number of ways – a hesitant tone of voice; lack of eye contact; fidgeting; a high-speed delivery and lack of pauses (lest someone should jump in to ask a question); apologetic language (especially at the beginning). And then…

March 31, 2021 Read more
PURPLE SNOW DROP
TWO MINUTES OF LIGHT – how will you use yours?
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My mum was vaccinated today. It took a couple of minutes. Her life is changed. I wrote a letter on Sunday to the ICU nurses at St George’s Hospital, thanking them for their dedication and sacrifice. That took me around 120 seconds too. I put it in with the muffins I’d made for them. Since 21 December 2020 I’ve been rather obsessed with the concept of two minutes because that’s how much extra daylight we get each day. In these difficult times, this has been making me happy. But then I thought – what to do with those two minutes…

January 28, 2021 Read more
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A psychiatrist’s seven steps to happiness (and confidence)
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Dr Anthony Clare was a respected psychiatrist and broadcaster who fronted the Radio 4 programme ‘In the psychiatrist’s chair’, interviewing prominent people from all walks of life (still available on the BBC website). I came across his seven steps to happiness and wanted to share them because I think they’re sensible and practical and achievable. And because the first one relates directly to my work helping people to communicate with more confidence and impact. Put on a happy face. Choose to be optimistic. Make a conscious decision to express positive ideas because that can change how we feel. In a…

October 30, 2020 Read more
Fear and Confidence – unlikely but essential bedfellows
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I had an interesting conversation yesterday with an ex Olympic swimmer who competed in Seoul when she was just 14 years old.  She didn’t fulfil her potential.  When asked why, her response surprised me. “I wasn’t scared enough”. Essentially, she attributed her poor performance to a lack of fear. Perhaps because she was so young, she hadn’t appreciated the scale of the event and the enormity of the opportunity. She’d experienced little pressure and therefore failed to rise to the occasion. The issue of fear came up again on the Today programme a couple of weeks ago. Dr Pippa Grange…

July 31, 2020 Read more
IS ONLINE COMMUNICATION GETTING HARDER?
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Last month I wrote about online communication and the skills we need to be able to hold an audience’s attention. Here it is again – https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/respect-connect-key-excellent-online-communication-jayne-constantinis/ Four weeks on, dozens of Zoom/Skype/Teams calls later, why does it seem that this form of communication is getting harder and more tiring? Surely we should be getting better at it. I think it’s down to two issues: Problem one – sound quality According to Trevor Cox, an acoustics expert at the University of Salford, the quality of sound coming through our computers is inferior to broadcast audio. It’s been compressed which gives it…

June 30, 2020 Read more
Respect and Connect – the key to excellent online communication
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I came across Franklin D Roosevelt’s advice on public speaking the other day:  “Be sincere, be brief, be seated”. Well said, Mr President, and especially well said in these corona months when most of us are working remotely, and when we need to finesse our communication style, to hold people’s attention. Just as tennis players adapt their game for each surface, so we need to adjust our usual face to face communication for the virtual world. It requires a particular set of techniques and a unique tone of voice. Normal rules don’t apply. Essentially, the fundamental pillars of good communication…

May 29, 2020 Read more
Coping and communicating through the Corona months
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Joy, sadness, fear, hope, despondency, hilarity – that’s been the morning’s gamut of emotions. No doubt you’re experiencing similar mood swings on what’s now called the Coronacoaster. Five weeks into lockdown and I’m getting used to the ‘new normal’ but I’ve struggled along the way. I’m usually annoyingly upbeat and positive but this knocked me sideways, as demonstrated by a recurring dream in which the brakes fail on a car I’m driving fast downhill!!!! Then I came across an article by David Kessler (a world expert on grief) suggesting that….. “we are collectively in mourning for the loss of our…

April 30, 2020 Read more
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Singing, lipstick and your favourite pants – managing our outer and inner persona at this testing time
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In Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Polonius tells his son Laertes to dress well because “apparel oft proclaims the man“. No doubt that’s what drove Boris Johnson to don a jacket and tie for his ‘I’ve got Corona’ isolation broadcast a few days ago. Margaret Thatcher’s newly released private papers reveal how aware she was of the power of clothes. She kept a ‘clothing diary’ in which she detailed outfits called ‘Wogan Burgundy’, ‘Pink Chanel Gorbachev’. Apparently, glamour was part of her approach to ending the cold war. Who knew! Last Friday, I wore a ‘Virtual Blue’ outfit for my first online training session. It was…

March 31, 2020 Read more
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Go on, pop the question – it’s 29 February!
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Happy Leap Day. It’s the one day every four years when, according to ancient tradition, women can propose marriage. It’s got me thinking in general about questions and their value in and out of the workplace. We’re living in an era with more channels than ever before to ‘broadcast’ our thoughts and ideas. I wonder if that’s influencing the way we communicate. Are we getting out of the habit of soliciting others’ opinions and properly listening to each other (you’ll remember I banged on about this in my TEDx talk recently – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7_UI9gNg_o). So, on this special day, here are…

February 29, 2020 Read more
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New skills for a new ‘post-EU’ era. How to be heard, how to be confident, how to listen
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In Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers, one of the factors for success (in life generally) is knowing “what to say to whom, when to say it and how to say it for maximum effect”. That’s communication – my passion and, I believe, our most fundamental life skill. As we embark on a new era in our country, let’s take the opportunity to sharpen up our own skills and ensure that we’re “getting what we want from the world”.  Whatever role and sector we’re in, we need to be able to negotiate, persuade, charm, and impress as never before. Let’s firstly remember that…

January 30, 2020 Read more
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